Marrying the uterus

I was rotating in anaesthesia. Standing in the preop area, waiting for the next patient for our operation room to arrive, I overheard perhaps one of the most significant conversations of my life. There was a young patient, and her OBGYN. There was some talk about removing her uterus, perhaps a cancer or something else threatening her life. I couldn't really hear. I wasn't paying any attention to it. They were going to remove her uterus to save her life. That much I could tell. And then she asked her doctor a simple question. A simple yet bone chilling question.

"meray paas bachadani nahi hoge tw mujh se shaadi kaun karay ga?" (if i don't have a womb, who is going to marry me?)

The doctor paused. Smiled reassuringly. "Beta shadi bachadani se thori hoti hai." (Child, it's not the womb one marries)

I couldn't stop thinking over these words. The day ended. Our operation room list finished. I changed out of my scrubs. I walked my way back to my room. All the way I could hear the echo of the doctor's words, "it's not the womb one marries".

How untrue these words seemed. How sadly untrue.

Isn't it indeed the uterus one marries, one that can carry healthy children, preferably male. When has anyone ever really stopped and given it a thought when marrying a woman that they're not just marrying someone who can carry a baby, but someone who is a person. A person like them. A person equal to them. Not just someone who is nice to look at. Is it not true that in this world, men don't marry the woman but rather marry her fair skin, her virginity, her healthy uterus. They don't marry the person.

Perhaps women are never thought of anything more than this. Perhaps even they start doubting there is anything more to them. And perhaps one day, they forget they are anyone of their own.

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